Alyssa picking up her cake last yearLast year in honor of her birthday, there were pink streamers, balloons, little prizes children like, a pinata, two kinds of punch, chips, fruit including a pineapple, carrots even, tons of angel hair pasta, mashed potatoes, corn, lots of precious and very enthusiastic children, laughter, hope, thanksgiving, helpful brothers, a camera (smile), a very special girl who lives in imitation of Christ, an eternally grateful single mother, a very, very loving God, and one tremendously pink chocolate cake.
The Story of Alyssa's life
God is the family planner. Reverence His judgment, trust in Him, and rejoice in the masterpieces of His creation.
I eagerly anticipated having my own children since I was just a child myself and was a very loving mother to my dolls. I was also eager to accept all the children God would one day send me to love in His place.
While expecting our first baby we already had a boy’s name and a girl’s name picked out. After it was determined that child was a boy, my wonderful son Andre, we put our girl's name in reserve for the future.Two years later our sweet little Nicholas joined us and the name for my precious
girl had to wait a little longer for God to create her in His most perfect time. So special was she and so eagerly anticipated that she was going to be named after our Lady. I just knew that she would be arriving one day, and when the doctor who looked at her ultrasound images proclaimed that he thought the baby might be a girl, I knew for certain that she was the daughter I had already loved for so long.
My sister Belinda suggested that we name her "Hope." How prophetic those words turned out to be.
Alyssa has the special distinction in our family of being our pro-life baby. Her
life will forever provide testimony to God’s great love for each one
of us, and to the immense wonders of His masterpieces of
creation and planning.
creation and planning.
On April 30, 1999, Alyssa Maria was born. One of the first people to lay eyes on her was a nurse, and as the doctor handed her my precious bundle of love I heard the first descriptor words ever spoken with regards to my daughter.
The smitten nurse gushed, “Oh, she’s so beautiful!”
Despite being the third child and only girl, she seemed to always be wearing blue instead of pink. When she was little her short, golden hair would curl up on humid days, starting from the ends straight up to her crown. Sometimes I would find perfect ringlets in her golden locks.
Alyssa was always so adorable in her frilly dresses and lacy socks. Sometimes she would also wear cute little hats, and when she was really small she wore a white bonnet. Oh those tiny feet, the button nose, and those sweet cheeks that have been the recipients of so, so many kisses!
Alyssa really should have the word "love" in her name somewhere. She was always kissing her brothers and me, telling us she loved us, smiling or giggling, and writing her mom countless love notes. She still is so quick to love, to share a smile, or do something thoughtful. She
is good at math, likes to read, and enjoys playing with her plastic
animals and children in the neighborhood. One year, on Valentine's
Day, she came home from school and proceeded to cut countless hearts out
of paper in secret. Then she placed them all around the house where I
came upon them throughout the rest of the day.
Those
paper hearts are still scattered around the house. Last year, while I was
at a funeral, one fell out of my purse onto the church floor, and I
gently retrieved it and placed it back in my purse while thinking fondly
of her and how it is possible that one so little can love so much.
I love it when Alyssa starts singing, usually when we are in the car on our way somewhere. Often she sings about God’s love while making up the words and the melody. Sometimes she sings about what is happening in our lives. God
has a unique plan for her that has something to do with boys, I just
know it, for she has been surrounded by boys her entire life. Almost all of her brothers’ friends have brothers but no sisters! How
fascinating it has been to watch nine boys playing basketball in the
driveway while Alyssa joins in, as I contemplate what God has planned
for her to accomplish down the road.
What a tremendous gift Alyssa has been to our family. She has shared the love of God with us all through the joys and trials of thirteen years together. The
moment she was born I was filled with such incredible joy because God
had gifted us with her presence. I remember thinking that I
had everything I could have possibly wanted, and at the same time
hoped that she would one day have other siblings in addition to her
brothers.
While I was feeling tremendously blessed, great tragedy loomed just over the horizon. In fact, that tragedy had already begun. In
a God moment where I was mercifully prepared for disaster, I had a
feeling right there in the delivery room that something was
significantly wrong. My feelings did not make sense at the time, in fact they were unthinkable, but they were accurate. My marriage was ending, I did not even know it, and Alyssa would be my last baby.
Some history:
When our boys were young, my husband and I decided to build a new home. Before our house was completed, we discovered that we were expecting our third child. While we would have preferred that our home be finished before having another baby, the house was almost finished and we seemed to lack a sufficient reason to delay welcoming another child.
However, we were in our early thirties and it seemed like we still had plenty of time to have more children.
Pray for an end to divorce, too.
I remember thinking that this baby was arriving too early, according to my plans that is. God had a plan, too, and His was much better than mine! The happy family living in the beautiful home was not to be. Shortly after we moved in, the marriage that was to be forever ended and our home went up for sale. So many of my hopes and dreams were shattered at the same time. Our family home went up for sale in a post 9/11 market, and two years later the home we worked so hard to build was sold to someone who sought to take advantage of our sorrowful situation.
In fact, so many people appeared on the scene to take advantage of us it was reminiscent of Christ’s Passion. Many times my
feelings of despair were great, but God in His unfathomable mercy
chose that very time to send me a child who would become one of my
greatest joys and consolations. She and her brothers constantly bring joy and meaning to my life. Praise God that I trusted in His Ways more than my own! With the benefit of hindsight I can clearly see God’s Loving Hand not only in my pregnancy but also in the timing of this child.
One
day, while we still lived in the house, my grief was so great that I
cried for an entire day except for the one hour I managed to stop while
my children and I attended Holy Mass. That afternoon, two-year-old Alyssa had a very special message for me. Somehow that precious, tiny girl found me crying alone in the walk-in closet. She looked right into my eyes and said “Mommy, Jesus loves you!” I knew that God was loving me through her and I was greatly comforted. I love to reflect on the story of my daughter’s life. God knew that despite my hopes my marriage was ending, and He sent me a wonderful parting gift: my beloved Alyssa!
Years later I realized that I was being tempted during a time of tremendous assault on our family by the devil to doubt God, His timing, and the very existence of this child. What seemed like a mistake in timing was no mistake at all. Her life was actually Divine Intervention! God knew that her arrival was then or never, and He also knew that would be my last opportunity to have a child with my husband. He knew that a time of tremendous suffering had already begun for the children, for my entire family, and for me, and returned to His faithful servants love for love through the gift of someone very extraordinary.
God knows what we do not, and that is why we must reverence His judgments. Raising a family without a spouse has been a tremendous hardship, one our entire family has felt every single day, but my three children bring me great joy and I am so grateful to be their mother. God has remained with us, loves us, guides us, and has always provided for our needs.
Alyssa's
life provides confirmation that every single person ever created is
uniquely special, immensely loved by God, and has great purpose. Imagine
how you felt during the most loving moment you have ever had, multiply
that feeling by the largest number you can think of, and you still
will not even come close to how much God loves each one of us. No person should be deprived of his or her life, not for any reason.
Every per
son’s apostolate begins at the moment of conception.
son’s apostolate begins at the moment of conception.
“For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; that I know very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes beheld my unformed substance. In your book were written all the days that were formed for me, when none of them as yet existed” (Psalm 139: 13-16).
Before each of us was even born, we already began impacting the lives of others and contributing to their welfare. So much good is accomplished by our very existence!
At
conception each person is gifted by God with striking uniqueness,
individual talents, traits, personalities, and an apostolate that
changes through the life span as we develop and as our circumstances
change. For the sake of our
sanctity and the work we accomplish in our imitation of Christ, each
of us must recognize, respect, and protect the uniqueness and mutual
importance of every other person’s contribution as it was intended by
God.
The apostolate of each living person is in progress at this very moment. Just as we do not stay the
same through our lives, our life’s work evolves as we seek to unite
our wills to God’s promptings. Jesus’ apostolate evolved from growing
in His mother’s womb through His infancy, childhood, young adulthood,
and adulthood. He lived in obscurity throughout His life until becoming well known during the three years of His public ministry. He
was loved and persecuted, popular and unpopular, loved and hated,
returned to Jerusalem a hero at the age of thirty-three and was executed
shortly thereafter. Several things remained constant through the different stages of Jesus’ life: He accomplished the Will of His Father and He served others with great love.
To ac
complish the will of God, we must follow His commandment "Thou shalt not kill."
complish the will of God, we must follow His commandment "Thou shalt not kill."
When we respect and protect the lives of others we fulfill God’s greatest commandment to love one another as He loves us.“You
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your
soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your
neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27). In order for our discipleship to truly follow the Will of God, each of us must acknowledge the contribution that every person ever created makes through their very existence.
Our following of Christ encompasses what we do during the
different stages of our lives as embryos, babies, children, students,
employed, unemployed, stay-at-home, religious, whether we are in
transition between jobs or careers, whether we are healthy or not, able
or disabled, and takes place as long as we live, regardless of our
circumstances. 
While some of us love and serve others through what we are able to do physically, our contributions are not limited to what can be seen by eyes, felt with hands, measured, heard, counted, or quoted. Our contributions may be tangible and have clearly visible results, or may have tremendous impact while remaining unseen. For example, people who are unable to care for themselves have great purpose and a vital apostolate. They provide love in many ways and contribute immensely to humanity. They accomplish great things through their circumstances because they teach us compassion as they accomplish the Will of God.
Every person is loved and wanted by God, and every person is necessary. Let us live in imitation of Christ .
If you or someone you know
needs pregnancy assistance,
be not afraid!
Click on these links for help:
If you or someone you know needs
post-abortion help and healing,
please contact:
If you would like to help families
defend the lives of their loved ones
who cannot defend themselves,
please contact:
To learn more about natural family planning
the teaching of the Catholic Church,
go to:
My sweet, sweet girl, I love you forever.
