"Please Help Yourself"

Living, loving, serving, suffering, and forgiving in imitation of Christ.  

A sneak peek inside the third book in the award-winning God Moments series, God Moments III:  True Love Leads To Life (Fall 2012).  

We arrived at the funeral home at the start of the wake of a beloved family member who had passed into eternity.  Our first stop was a room to the left, a small lounge where family members could take a break from receiving guests during the public viewing.  There was a pop machine in the room; other than that, soda was the only thing available for purchase.  

There were several tables set up in the room, round ones in the middle, and long rectangular ones along two of the walls.  Place cards with the names of different families had been placed on some of the tables. 

As we walked into the room, I noticed a long rectangular table just to the right of the door.  The place card had an Italian family’s name on it.  It was loaded with food including multiple fruit trays, a tray of multicolored sandwich wraps, and various vegetable plates.  Cases of water bottles were stashed underneath the table.  The table was such a beautiful sight.

My first thought when I saw the table with the big place card that seemed to say “Hands off” was that if I had the foresight to have brought all that food, I would have put the words “Please help yourself" on the sign.  I would have allowed everyone who was mourning the loss of a loved one to help themselves to food and drink to sustain them during the long hours ahead.

Unfortunately, we were too physically and emotionally spent to have thought of it. While there was plenty of food awaiting everyone at a family member's home nearby, having it at the funeral home would have been the most ideal place.   

A very significant series of events had begun with that table full of food, perhaps as a test and also perhaps to teach a vital lesson.    

My family and I walked over to the table in the middle of the room that had our family’s name on it, and put what we had out for everyone to share:  two bottles of juice and several boxes of snacks we poured into paper bowls. 

Every once in a while throughout  the afternoon, my family took a break from receiving friends and went into the lounge for a drink or to have a snack.  Soon, the meager rations we brought were gone.

At one point, as we sat at the table designated for our family, a woman began insulting our family, our deceased loved one, and wondered aloud why we had not brought any food.  She had just returned from having gone out to get herself something to eat at a restaurant, and despite being aware of there being no food, had not offered to bring anything back for anyone.

 

The woman called us cheap, mocked our deceased loved one's appearance, and insulted grieving family members. 

It was as if the devil himself had arrived on the scene to spread malice and encourage division.  He is easily identifiable:  so mean, spiteful, hateful, and unhelpful.  

 

I wondered why the woman who spoke so unkindly didn’t offer to be of any assistance.  Her insults were absolutely shocking.  I felt so sad, and also very angry, to hear such horrible insults directed at so many good people during a wake.  

     

A woman was sitting nearby, and she overheard the conversation at our table.  She was the one who had brought the food on the rectangular table. She had such great compassion that she came over and offered us all that she had brought to eat and drink.  Not only that, she and her family members kept inviting us throughout the rest of the afternoon to help ourselves to all they had.    

We were overjoyed to fill our plates with the food from their table.  I offered her daughter some money in gratitude, but neither child nor mother would take it.   

And that’s not all.  The family also had another table, a round table on the left side of the room, and that table was covered with wonderful desserts!  During another one of our breaks in that lounge, a man got up from the table that had all the desserts on it and approached us.  He was holding a tray of those wonderful desserts in his hands, and had come over not only to offer us some, but to serve them to us.

It was as if Jesus Himself was there, caring for us with such compassion through that caring family.  

Just like we are every day of our lives, that afternoon we stood on the battlefield, right there in the lounge of the funeral home.  Some days the battle is more vicious.  The battle of good versus evil played out that day at a time when one would expect people to behave with gentleness, compassion, and kindness. But we can expect that when great good is being accomplished for God's glory the spiritual battle is most fierce, for the devil is very clever and does all he can, any way he can, to get us to stop loving one another.

 

Right there in the funeral home, that wonderful Italian family was Christ to us.  They saw a need, took action, sought to unify, served us by offering all they had, and didn’t ask, demand, or accept anything in return. 

By the grace of God, the next morning my family had a talk before walking into the church for our loved one’s funeral Holy Mass.  We had been deeply hurt by the very harsh things said in the lounge the day before.  We understood that it was very important and very necessary for us to forgive the person who had been so insulting.

As soon as we saw her in the church we all embraced her, overjoyed to have won this victory over evil by choosing to love no matter what, and the grieving woman was clearly sorry for what had taken place the day before.

Why is this story included in a pro-life book?  Because we contribute either to the culture of life or to the culture of death, depending on what we do and say. The Fifth Commandment forbids us from killing, and we can kill by our words and as well as by our deeds.

"Help that kills, by word or deed, isn't help at all."  ~ True Love Leads To Life 

© Joseph Karl Publishing