In the end all that matters is how much we have loved.
The following post is dedicated to my sister Belinda
on the occasion of her 50th birthday, September 9, 2013.
Belinda entered into eternal life
on the Feast of St. John of the Cross, December 14, 2011.
Belinda's life is celebrated in the profoundly Catholic pro-life book
God Moments III: True Love Leads to Life,
available free as a PDF in English at this link:
Belinda (left) and me just before we both became very sick.
The Lord called one sister home and left the other one here.
"Don't Wait," an eight minute audio presentation that shares
the final moments between two sisters.
The music track the Lord chose is wedding music.
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At the time Belinda was diagnosed with cancer in 2009 she had been sick for a while but didn't know the cause. At that same time, I was also very sick but would not be correctly diagnosed until February 2012.
In the end, all that matters is how much we have loved.
Belinda, you loved us with all your heart
and we loved you with all ours.
Today we are one day closer to seeing you again, in paradise.
"My children, we are in reality only what we are in the eyes of God,
and nothing more."
Every single life is a gift from God, a treasure of inestimable worth that is to be honored, loved, and valued by us.
I remember so well, and so painfully, the final year of Belinda's illness. She was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer the day before her 46th birthday. After an aggressive battle to preserve her life that included chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, she was sent back to work with the hopes that the cancer had been eliminated.
But the cancer came back very quickly and with a vengeance. She began chemotherapy again well aware that a miracle was needed to save her.
In October 2011, she was admitted to the hospital and while it was initially believed that her stay would be brief, she remained in isolation there for six long weeks.
While she was there, she went into renal failure and we were told she had just days left to live.
But Jesus said during Eucharistic Adoration that Belinda would not die within days as predicted, because our family was being given the opportunity to suffer longer. And did we ever suffer. But this was a tremendous grace.
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At the time Belinda was diagnosed with cancer in 2009 she had been sick for a while but didn't know the cause. At that same time, I was also very sick but would not be correctly diagnosed until February 2012.
And so while Belinda was suffering in the hospital those six weeks I dragged my hurting body out of bed each morning, dropped my three children off at two schools, went to Holy Mass, prayed the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet for Belinda, and at every opportunity traveled to Detroit to be with Belinda in the hospital.
Our family spent a great deal of time together with her during those precious six weeks. People commented on the loving care she received from her family. She would have preferred to have done it for us. But Belinda did do so much for us. She suffered patiently and obtained many graces not only for herself but for others.
Cancer had spread to her brain by that time and we found out later she began having difficulty seeing. I would travel to the hospital and walk into her room and find her sleeping, and so I took my hurting body and laid down close by and the two of us slept soundly, two very sick sisters, one on her way to paradise and the other to continue along the Way of the Cross...
Everyone loved so heroically through Belinda's illness, family here in the United States, friends, and also family around the world. She was such a kind and gentle soul, and many people were touched very deeply by her courage and her heroic virtue.
Belinda suffered so much from having to remain in isolation, as her systems failed. Her lungs filled with fluid and the procedure to drain the fluid was so painful; she came back from having it removed so distraught. Fortunately some very kind friends from work were waiting for her to return to her room and they had cards and balloons for her, which cheered us all up so much.
How weary we all were from the tremendous suffering, but there was also so much grace...
Then one day, I walked into Belinda's room. She was awake, and she was very sorrowful. She wanted to return home so badly.
It was just Belinda and me in the room at that moment, and we both were so incredibly sick.
I walked over to her bed; for so long and through so much she smiled every time she saw us, and I always smiled back, but our smiles began disappearing under the great weight of the Cross. Sustaining grace helped us fulfill God's will, and our love grew deeper and more perfect.
I stood by her side and began crying, too.
I stood by her side and began crying, too.
What a moment that was. Such profound shared sorrow.
Together, we grieved the inevitable, that she was going to be parted from us so soon just like our father, who died from a massive heart attack when he was 46.
The thought was so incredibly painful. Without God, we just could not have bared it.
I still remember the look on Belinda's face when her eyes met mine at that moment.
She felt such tremendous sorrow at seeing my pain, it was so gripping as we traveled together along the Way of Sacrificial Love in imitation of Christ, Who shared the sorrow of His afflicted Mother and His disciples.
Belinda was so Christ-like. The first time she was admitted to the hospital shortly after her diagnosis she was so sick she almost died then. When I went to visit her in the hospital she was sitting in a chair by the window and she was suffering so tremendously and so patiently. She looked up at something in the room and from where I was standing saw her in profile. What I also saw was the Holy Face of Jesus wearing the Crown of Thorns, suffering so tremendously and so patiently, superimposed over hers.
This image of the Holy Face of Jesus very closely resembles what I saw that day.
Sacrificial love is the most powerful force in the universe. Sacrificial love is so strong that the bonds formed by it cannot ever be broken, and the gates of hell cannot prevail against it. Sacrificial love makes relationships meaningful, and incredibly powerful.
Within two years of her first hospitalization, Belinda was back in the hospital completing her mission in this life, and the two of us were in that sorrowful moment preparing our hearts for the separation.
Then, in a moment of God's mercy, our sister-in-law Pam walked through the door and brought with her the most beautiful light. The three of us had a very touching visit that morning. It was very special time together that I will always hold dear.
Although Belinda and I had two different medical conditions, we suffered many of the same physical ailments. At times, both of us had great difficulty breathing. We also both had trouble with our kidneys. As the cancer spread throughout her system, all her organs were being compromised as all the organs were under assault within mine. Sometimes, when our systems had become so badly compromised, it became necessary for her or me to close our eyes and retreat within for a while.
Sometimes it felt like I was suffering for Belinda and that she was suffering for me (as our mother suffered for both of us), so much so that after she died I expected to feel better! But I continued to get progressively worse and suffer in greater intensity.
Sometimes it felt like I was suffering for Belinda and that she was suffering for me (as our mother suffered for both of us), so much so that after she died I expected to feel better! But I continued to get progressively worse and suffer in greater intensity.
I complained to Belinda shortly after her death and asked her what the deal was, I thought we were in it together, but I was still suffering.
What a mystery life is.
Every one of us has a day and a time destined for us to enter into eternity.
In the end, all that matters is how much we have loved.
Belinda, you loved us with all your heart
and we loved you with all ours.
Today we are one day closer to seeing you again, in paradise.
"My children, we are in reality only what we are in the eyes of God,
and nothing more."
~ Saint John Vianney
Always by one anothers' side:
Belinda's family accompanies her mortal remains to their final resting place.
THE POWERFUL DEVOTION TO THE HOLY FACE OF JESUS
To learn more about the Work of Reparation through the Devotion to the Holy Face,
which our Lord, Jesus Christ called "the most beautiful work under the sun,"
visit: http://www.josephkarlpublishing.com/#!devotionholyface/c1n0f
Please share the information with others.
God is at work in you!!
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Belinda's family accompanies her mortal remains to their final resting place.
© Joseph Karl Publishing and Apostolate Films/Michele Bondi Bottesi
Images taken at Ss. Cyril and Methodius Slovak Catholic Church,
Sterling Heights, Michigan, U.S.A. Parish Website
Images taken at Ss. Cyril and Methodius Slovak Catholic Church,
Sterling Heights, Michigan, U.S.A. Parish Website
and Resurrection Cemetery,
Clinton Township, Michigan, U.S.A.
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from wherever you are!
To access a fishing boatload full of PROFOUNDLY Catholic material
including award-winning books, pictures, articles, audio, and video,
immeasurably and eternally valuable and FREE, just like God's love,
visit: www.josephkarlpublishing.com
God is so in love with you!!
THE POWERFUL DEVOTION TO THE HOLY FACE OF JESUS
To learn more about the Work of Reparation through the Devotion to the Holy Face,
which our Lord, Jesus Christ called "the most beautiful work under the sun,"
visit: http://www.josephkarlpublishing.com/#!devotionholyface/c1n0f
Please share the information with others.
God is at work in you!!
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