God Is At Work In You!: Happy 18th Birthday Andre Joseph, My Beloved Son

Every single life has purpose.

Every single person has a story, even those with the shortest lifespan. Every person’s story is a pro-life story, because every person is loved, wanted and created by God with great purpose. My son Andre is certainly no exception. Tomorrow, October 27, 2012 is his eighteenth birthday.

A week or so ago, he received a very special present to mark the occasion. I had wanted to give him something very extravagant, tremendously meaningful, and with lasting value for such a special birthday. Andre received a Mass card and today, the day before his birthday, I participated in the 9:00 a.m. Holy Sacrifice of the Mass said at our parish for his intentions.

Before Holy Mass, I made a Holy Hour during Eucharistic Adoration and Exposition, and thanked God for such a priceless treasure.

Blessed Mother was there with her Son, and I thanked her for her vital and significant role in salvation history. God created her to be the mother of a priceless Treasure, too.

The bond between mothers and sons is very special. I had been certain of my calling to the Holy Apostolate of Motherhood since childhood; five years after marrying, the desire to fulfill that mission was so strong it could not be delayed any longer. Despite the fact that I was still working on a Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, we decided to no longer use the sympto-thermal method of Natural Family Planning to delay conceiving. And guess what happened?

Nothing.

God had us wait. On more than one occasion I asked him with disappointment, but without mistrust, “We responded to your calling to become parents. Why are you having us wait?”

How hard it is to wait to take possession of treasure.

Six months later (it seemed like an eternity at the time), the good Lord created Andre. Our family was absolutely euphoric. The last baby born in my family was me, almost thirty years prior. After having waited so long for someone so little, Andre’s arrival was greatly anticipated. He was born two weeks after his due date. Every extra day we had to wait seemed like forever!

Every day from his due date on, people called to ask if he had arrived. We already knew that Andre was a boy, and he was spoken of often by name. I just could not wait to hold him, and kiss his little face, and wondered what his little cry would sound like.

I ended up hearing him cry an awful lot the first half of his first year of life.

Unknown to us at that time, Andre was born with a severe allergy to milk. He failed to gain weight, cried a lot, and couldn't sleep because he was in so much agony. After nursing, his body would reject his food and Andre vomited everything he had taken in, usually all over me. Andre began bleeding internally, and my concerned calls and discussions with various pediatricians had fallen on deaf ears. It was if the words “bloody diapers” didn’t even register in their minds. The poor child cried in agony through his Baptism on Christmas Day. On Ash Wednesday we took him to Holy Mass and he was in so much pain we left early and brought him to the emergency room.

Nothing.

After having to wait for what seemed like forever to find a doctor who would listen, so depleted by not sleeping as we tried night after night to comfort our sorrowful son, we were blessed to end up in the office of a competent pediatric gastroenterologist when Andre was five months old. The doctor listened to what we said and actually processed it. He was very concerned and prepared us for the possibility of emergency surgery.

That same afternoon, we were informed that Andre's intestines were ulcerated due to a milk protein allergy, and that is why he was bleeding and in so much pain. Once cow's milk was completely eliminated from my diet, Andre began to heal, gain weight, sleep, and thrive.

I remain so grateful God gave me the wisdom to be open to life. The decision whether or not to wait to begin our family while I was still in school was life-changing. After careful discernment, welcoming children when God was ready to send them was determined to be more important and more desirable than anything else. We were being asked to choose, and it was clear what God wanted.

As it turned out, the educational psychology department illegally blocked me from completing the last requirement I needed to obtain my degree. Although my hope of becoming a doctor ended there, my greater hope of becoming a mother was fulfilled.

Certainly we have shared many joys and many sorrows through the years. This is the first birthday Andre will celebrate after his loving Aunt Belinda passed into eternal life. Together we have weathered many storms, shared many happy times, and are so much closer and such better people for having the courage by God's grace to love one another in good times and in bad.

Visiting Aunt Belinda's grave.

In more recent years, the good Lord has granted several of what I call parallel moments.

The first one occurred about four years ago, just before the Lord called us to our new parish. He was laying the foundation for what was yet to come. At my former parish, I was a Eucharistic Minister and often was asked to help distribute Holy Communion during daily Holy Mass in the chapel. Andre had just received the Sacrament of Confirmation, qualifying him to become a Eucharistic Minister, and so he received the training. Not long after that, out of the blue, the Lord said that He wanted me to STOP distributing His Sacred Body and Blood during Holy Communion.

At that time, I had the first of four parallel moments. The Lord said (translated into words, because He spoke in silence to my heart) that He wanted me to step aside because my son was the one He wanted to do it. He made a comparison to the role of our Blessed Mother. She was not called to distribute the Eucharist, Jesus was. Mary was called to be His mother.

Immediately, I stopped distributing the Precious Body and Blood of Jesus during Holy Mass. I remember one kind woman asking me before Holy Mass to distribute Holy Communion. When she was informed that from then on she should ask Andre instead of me, she asked with wonder, “Then what will you be doing?” And I replied without thinking, “I’ll be back here praying.”

It all made so much sense.

Around that same time, the Lord requested that I take my family to Holy Mass at our new parish. There, only men (mostly priests and deacons) distribute the Sacred Body and Blood of Jesus Christ during Holy Mass, and altar servers are all altar boys. At the very first Holy Mass we attended after our summons, just before Holy Mass began, the Lord had me turn around and look toward the back of the church where the many altar boys were standing, waiting to process into the church.

Then, He told me (again, a translation into words) it is His desire that the altar servers be only altar boys, and from them, and through their service to the church in this capacity, he calls young men to the priesthood.

That filled my heart with tremendous joy.

Not long after that, the following event occurred: Two Mothers, Their Sons, St. Anthony, and the Incredible Chapel

Another time, the good Lord visited one evening to teach me something while I was praying. During that time, He said that my children have seen me suffer much. He also said that my "Yes" to God will lead to Andre's "Yes" to God, just as Blessed Mother's "Fiat" was necessary before the incarnation of the One who would give God His unconditional "Yes" for the sake of all of humanity.

Our Lord is so lavish with His generosity, and yet untold millions refuse His gift of life and instead, tell Him "No."

How important it is for the entire human race that married couples include God in their family planning and NOT block His bringing forth life from their union! How important it is for all of humanity that married couples NOT use artificial contraception, which destroys millions of preborn children every year.

Every single "No" deprives heaven and earth of so much goodness and joy.

Not long ago, during a Tridentine Holy Mass, the Lord granted another parallel moment involving our Lord, Blessed Mother, Andre, and me. A large statue of Blessed Mother was roughly halfway down the center isle facing the altar. Only her back was visible to me from where I sat toward the rear of the church. During the Holy Mass, it seemed as if Blessed Mother was trying to get my attention. She was! At one point, she said (again, translating into words) that she was looking at her Son on the altar, while I was looking at my son on the altar. Then she noted that the celebrant, Father Ben, is her son, too.

From left, Richard Bogdan, Andre, Father Benjamin Kosnac, George Bogdan.

And so now as my beloved Andre turns 18 we face the future with wonder and eager anticipation, after having shared a very adventurous and profoundly Catholic life. I still cannot fathom how quickly the years have passed. Those precious years when the children were small are now committed to memory as we address the many challenges and joys of the present moment.

A peek behind the scenes: Andre helping out

as the Luke 5:4 series of images was photographed this summer in Ludington, Michigan.

Time goes by so very quickly. May we strive to value every moment with the treasured people God has placed in our lives, always with very good reason. May we continue to allow God to work in us and through us, on His terms and not our own. +