The Doctor, the Divine Physician, the Pardon, and the Peace

Where to take hearts so often broken and in need of mending.

Just the other night, I had a dream.  In the dream, I was out and about with my family, and happened to see a former physician of mine.  He had been my doctor for about four years.

 

I may never forget one of my last visits to this particular physician.  We sat in chairs across from each other, and I asked him one question after another in a desperate attempt to find the genesis of my rapidly declining health and rapidly multiplying physical problems.  

My personal team of physicians (they were my team, but they weren't a team, unfortunately for me) has included many doctors from many different specialties for the past three decades.  So much time, energy, and money had been spent in an effort to find the cause, all to no avail.  The great tragedy is the problem was easy enough to find, but every single doctor ignored my spine in their differential diagnosis.  Three reasons for this gross error:  pride, greed, and ignorance.  But I digress. 

With every new question, the doctor seemed to become increasingly impatient with me.  Keep in mind that each time I asked a new question that day in the doctor's office it required a great deal of effort to think straight and exert the energy because I was so sick.  After so many visits with so many concerns and no answers, always having been told to take yet another test, I was becoming desperate and my questions were now a matter of self preservation.  

His response to every question began with, "I was getting to that."  But his answers only led to more questions, and more frustration for both of us.  I wondered why I had to ask the questions at all, and felt like I was both the patient AND the doctor!

In the end, he again recommended yet another test.  "Most patients tolerate this test FAIRLY well," he said again after having marketed this test to me several times before.  After more questions, it was apparent that having that particular test wasn't going to help any, and I was in no mood to spend the little energy I had to merely increase the size of his wallet.  Again.  

Truly, the very best diagnostic tool is the brain, and what I found over the course of thirty years worth of doctor visits is that the brain is the most underutilized diagnostic device in the medical profession.  Why?  Because using it to heal people doesn't generate as much revenue.  

And what doctor doesn't have enough money.  

I came to the accurate conclusion that the medical profession, just like the court system and all other systems that exist to serve people, care for people, and actually help people, have in large part become systems for using people instead.  

How many times have you gone anywhere for any reason and been ignored as a human being, even when you are clearly suffering?  But all those people who treat you like you are invisible can suddenly see you when it comes to acquiring money from you!

People who behave this way, and we all do to various degrees, God have mercy on us, adapt a  pro-choice mentality, and we must be aware of it to fight back against the manipulations of the devil. 

While the physician in this story is a pro-life physician, in many ways he isn't. In fact, I have encountered other pro-life physicians that were pro-life in name only, doctors who for example gave their patients contraception so it would not cost them patients, while using the pro-life term to get more.  God is well aware when we play both sides of the fence.  It is very important that we also know when we are doing this, ask for forgiveness, and FIX IT.  

The care I got from my physicians was on far too many occasions not pro-life.  More than one call to that office and others when I was really, really sick and in desperate need of help went unanswered. Other crimes against humanity occurred as well, and if that term seems shocking it should be, because such behavior has become so acceptable by so many.  In fact, many now consider such behavior not only acceptable, they consider it smart and preferable! 

Here's just one example:  I was put on medication that I didn't need (a hormone spray), it just masked my symptoms while I got worse, and when I called twice, one year apart because the medication was gone and I thought I needed more so I wouldn't get even sicker, was told I had schedule an office visit and at that time I would get it.

I stated my dire situation several times on both occasions, but it was like what I said was not even processed on the other end of the phone. When I pressed my case I was told, "We are booked two weeks solid, so I suggest you make an appointment right now."  People, I feel like I'm dying, and you are telling me to come in in two weeks.  Can't you hear? "And I can't even drag myself in, I'm so sick!"  I needed to get well so I could even make it back to the doctor. He never even called me back by the way. Perhaps he didn't get the message.

"We are a hypnotized nation."  ~ Servant of God, Father John A. Hardon, S.J. 
  

And when  you return home to continue suffering, payment is expected at the time services are rendered.  That's expensive, especially if you are then put on medication you don't need, are ordered to have tests you don't need, and in the end you get no answers for your money.  Often I found the office staffs unhappy and thus unfriendly, and if they were friendly, it seemed more a function of their business training rather than coming from caring hearts.

One year ago, in late January 2012, I had become so sick I could barely even function, and begged the Lord to help me. The next morning, Jesus came and told me He was going to help me get better.   He sent me to a phenomenal doctor, a chiropractor, who had me come in right away, and after actually listening to me, looking at me, and taking one set of x-rays, treated me to one of the most beautiful moments of my life.  

He smiled and said four words.  "I can help you."  

He also provided me with a correct diagnosis for more health problems than I ever thought were possible:  subluxation degeneration.  One third of the vertebrae in my spine from my neck to my lower back were misplaced and malfunctioning and had been for years, wreaking havoc throughout my body and causing pain and problems from head to toe.

I learned a lot from this truly ethical, caring, and pro-life physician who uses the most important diagnostic tool there is:  his brain.  Because the damage to my neglected spine had been accruing for so many years,  my recovery was expected to take one year while the doctor addressed layers and layers of health problems ignored by all the others.  I can't even remember the last time I was well for just one entire day, and my recovery has been very painful.  

I fired my useless and stressed out team of physicians,  every one of whom is guilty of malpractice (negligence) to various degrees. That is not to say they are not good people, or that they are not accomplishing some good.  I truly believe they all mean well. But the fact remains that we have a serious health care crisis in this country that is as alarming as Obamacare.

Reflecting on the damage I suffered while under their care still makes me sick (this doesn't include the three doctors who delivered my children).    

It is important to know that I have forgiven all of my former doctors during several of my past confessions (it has been a process), after having asked the Lord to forgive me of my trespasses, all of them, known and unknown, intended and unintended.  God knows the state of our souls, and that is why it is important to go to Him and receive His forgiveness and healing in this great Sacrament. 

Now back to the dream, because it is significant, and its surprise conclusion provides a very important message every one of us should know.  

I unexpectently ran into my former physician, and we greeted each other. 

Then, in the dream, the doctor began speaking.   

He apologized to me quite sufficiently in about three or four sentences! As he spoke, I was so delighted by his wonderful articulation, kindness, sincerity, concern, and genuine regret.  

And then, I felt at peace!

What a delightful dream that was.  It seemed to conclude a very painful chapter of my life.

I was further surprised when Jesus came that morning and explained the dream.  Jesus said that He was the One who stood in place of the doctor and apologized to me that night.  

Jesus loves me so much, and knows me so well, that He made it a point to attend to this matter personally and mend my wounded heart.

This experience is the precious fruit of going to confession regularly at a devout, authentic Catholic parish with holy priests where confessions are heard multiple times throughout each day.   

Jesus is our Healer and the Prince of Peace.   

Jesus wants you to know this story, because He wants you to come to Him and be healed by the Divine Physician, in the confessional through the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  

How many times we hurt other people, or they hurt us, and we never get a chance to apologize to one another, or for whatever reason, we just don't apologize or ever receive an apology.  Sometimes we may not even be aware of how badly our behavior has harmed others.

How much our hearts need healing throughout life, perhaps more often than we realize.

Jesus wants to heal your heart like He healed mine.  

Take advantage of this invaluable Sacrament often.  Reconcile yourself with God and His Church, be forgiven for your sins, forgive others, receive vital graces for your soul and for the souls of others.  If need be, ask the Lord to heal your heart, along with the hearts of others who are also hurting.  

Jesus knows what you need and He will help you. He loves you!

Once you discover or rediscover the incredible power of the Sacrament of Divine Intimacy, you will absolutely love going and going and going and going! 

God is so in love with you!